Free Dog!

Free wheat colored, 16lb, pure miniature schnauzer. Disclaimer: No returns for pooping on the floor, waking up sleeping babies, barking at outside noises, chewing up the bathroom trash, or running away.

He will give you all the adventure and fun you've ever wanted. Picture this: stepping outside onto the porch to relax on the nice porch swing with your baby. As you open the door, the dog runs out and quickly runs into the next yard. You immediately run back into the house, attempt to put on the sling with a screaming baby so you can run off to find your now missing dog. You find a house with someone outside (generally where he runs off to) and think, YES!, I didn't have to go far. Unbeknownst to you, they just thought it was the neighbors dog. If the neighbors dog is in your yard...you should stop him! That's just plain good neighbor etiquette. Anyway, you continue on your search in the heat and humidity with a 15lb baby slung to your chest with a black sling. Again, who needs to work out??? A half a mile later, you find him pooping in some one's yard. He couldn't have done it when you didn't see him so you wouldn't feel guilty about not cleaning. Nooo, but of course you have nothing with you to clean it up, because why would he poop in the middle of the day when he never does that. So you pick it up with your hand...haha ok, gross, you don't do that. For now you leave it, and since you didn't think to bring a leash on your search, you thought you add to the adventure by having to scream your dog's name the whole half mile back to get him to come. In attempt to get him to stop marking, you give him a little tap on the bottom with your shoe, just in time for him to move and pee all over your leg. You finally get him back to the house, only to walk back another half mile to clean up the nice present he left behind. The nice aroma from the heat on the walk back just makes you remember how much you love this little dog. Oh, and don't forget that when you get back home, you'll be happy to walk in and find that in that time you were gone, the dog puked all over the floor, walked through, and tracked it through the house. Now you get to start the adventure of a bath while holding a 1 month old, of course after you've cleaned up the mess...

Now if this hasn't convinced you that you want this dog, I don't know what will. You won't find another companion as adventurous as this one, all for the low low price of free.

If you take him now within the next 30 minutes, I'll even include the stand at your feet and eat anything you drop for free! Ok, apparently I've been watching QVC too much, but seriously, these are the days that a dog makes you want to pull your hair out!